i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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