He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
