After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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