i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
