The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
