This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
