Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
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Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
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We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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