Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
