I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
