i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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