Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
