I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Boobs are out for the taking
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
last night I used snow as a chaser
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