sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
