Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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