Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
