Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
