Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
