Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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