I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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