Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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