If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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