I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
vagina is talking i cant
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
