Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
