Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
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I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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