I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
