I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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