I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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