No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
