Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize