hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
