i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
