i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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