Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
