We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
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Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
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Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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