Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It was like giving head to a cactus.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
