its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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