I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
