I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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