Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
