Sponge bath it is.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
