I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
