Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I will pee on everything he values.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize