U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
