I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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