just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
These tits shall not be calmed
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
