Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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