STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
