He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
