Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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