did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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