She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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