So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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