all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
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This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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