I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize