You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
