i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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