Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
