How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
