they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
