I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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