we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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