its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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